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GCC professor among group of same-sex couples who married at Niagara Falls on Monday

By Howard B. Owens

When classes begin at Genesee Community College in the fall, the name of one assistant professor will be new to many students, but the teacher won't be.

Candice Faulring, entering her fifth year of teaching at GCC, will be known as Ms. Vacin from now on.

On Monday, Candice, 37, and her partner Sara Vacin, 35, became among the first 1,600 same-sex couples in New York to enter into a legal marriage.

"It's really exciting," Faulring said.

Now in the third year and fourth month of their relationship, Candice and Sara have been talking about marriage since their first anniversary. Sara proposed on New Year's Eve 2008.

They expected the Marriage Equality Act to pass in 2009 and had planned a big ceremony for last summer.  

After they got over the disappointment of the legislation failing in the Senate, they went to Canada to get married.

But that still wasn't the same as having a legally recognized marriage in New York, said Candice, who is originally from Lewiston. 

"When we told people we were married, it always seemed like they were thinking we were like kids having a tea party, or kids doing something that only adults do for real," Candice said. "This is a legal marriage with all the rights and responsibilities that go with marriage, so it's much more significant."

The Vacins, who live in North Buffalo, took part in a group wedding at Niagara Falls where 45 same-sex couples were married on Monday.

When the Marriage Equality Act came before the Senate again this year, Candice said she was live blogging and tweeting developments for four days. When the vote finally came, she was with a group of friends.

"We got together to watch the vote," Candice said. "It was very emotional (that day), as was our arrival at Niagara Falls on Monday. I didn't think it would be as emotional as it was."

Legalized same-sex marriage has had a tremendous impact on her outlook on life, Candice said.

"After the vote, I walked around feeling different," Candice said. "I walked around feeling validated and that I didn’t have to hide anymore."

Photo: Submitted by Candice Vacin (left) and Sara Vacin (right).

Doug Yeomans

Scott, was that a facetious comment or do you seriously find something wrong with two people getting married? Are you one of those people who thinks that because gay marriage goes against your religion that you have the right to tell other people what their rights are, or are not? I'm just wondering as one word comments sometimes say more than a paragraph.

I'm happy for anyone who can find happiness and love together. If they can't find it together, they certainly aren't going to find it from intolerant bigots. Being gay isn't a choice, nor is it evil or immoral. Being gay is no more a choice than is skin color, hair color, sex or height.

I've said it before and I've said it again: "Religion divides more people than it unites." When are people going to wake up and realize that not everyone is "just like you." Religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance, yet in my 48 years, I've never seen any christian or muslim follow those teachings.

So, Scott, can you clarify your one word comment?

Jul 30, 2011, 6:46am Permalink
Jerry Buckman

Best Wishes to both of you! Your pic shows happiness that is becoming rare today.

I cannot congratulate you for being legally married though, as it goes against my belief system. But I'm not at war over this, because to me it's between you and God. And that's that.

Doug, your post suggests intolerance, anger, and even ignorant judgment concerning religion. You may not have seen tolerance and acceptance in religion, but concluding they aren't is likely a mistake. I suggest religion is lesser about those things and more about accountability--a virtue that trumps all others and makes people very uncomfortable. If you're not a believer, what I typed is garbage. If you are a believer, it might make some sense.

Jul 30, 2011, 10:01am Permalink
Irene Will

I cannot for the life of me, understand why people are against marriage equality. What exactly is TAKEN AWAY from anyone else's marriage when a same sex couple marries ?

Jul 30, 2011, 10:58am Permalink
Irene Will

Dr. Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. A while ago, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative.........

Dear Dr. Laura
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don.t agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn.t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Jack

Jul 30, 2011, 11:10am Permalink
Jerry Buckman

Irene,

Of course you know your question can be asked in mirror image. I don't know the answer. I guess we'll never be able to understand why people believe as they do. It's a mystery probably beyond our capacity to understand.

I've seen the Dr. Laura thing before. It's entertaining but not compelling.

Who knows? Things either go with and against our personal grains. I'm not sure it's a choice. Like this topic of homosexuality.

Jul 30, 2011, 11:50am Permalink
Phil Ricci

You know what's funny Jerry? That you think they would care one bit if you congratulate them on their marriage. That's what's really funny about this whole debate!

Good one Irene! :-)

Jul 30, 2011, 12:27pm Permalink
Doug Yeomans

Jerry, what I said isn't ignorant at all. It comes from direct observation. Ignorance is an absence of understanding, a lack of knowledge. All I have to do is listen to people and look around me. Accountability should be of the person, not to some make believe god that you believe will send you off to eternal damnation if you're not a good boy.

Yes, I'm intolerant of bigots and hypocrites, which most people of religion tend to be. Again, all I have to do is listen to and see how people behave all around me. I say all of this without the anger you somehow heard.

You even offer support to my contentions. On one hand you say you're happy for them but yet you can't congratulate them for their marriage. A marriage that's every bit as meaningful as one between two people of the opposite sex. If anyone sounds ignorant and intolerant, it's you. It's definitely bigoted and hypocritical. I'm not being mean, just calling it what it is.

No, I don't believe there's a supreme being of any kind. To me, giving credit to any god is akin to thanking Santa Claus for your Christmas gifts. "If there's a god he's absurd for creating diseases but being concerned with everyone's sneezes." C'mon, a supreme being? Makes no sense at all to me.

I was trying to make a point and coax Scott into telling us how he really feels.

Congratulations Candace and Sara. May you find happiness despite living in a world of intolerance and ignorance.

Jul 30, 2011, 12:45pm Permalink
Jerry Buckman

Phil, curious how you concluded that was on my mind as I typed my comment.

Doug, I think it's unfortunate you've been exposed to mostly religious intolerants and bigots. You're far from being alone here. But it might help to engage the next one of those you run across and ask him/her to explain him/herself. Or go to a church, attend a study, and ask them as a group. Charging someone with intolerance and ignorance is serious--maybe you can set them straight.

Jul 30, 2011, 3:41pm Permalink
Charlie Mallow

Not sure why the celebration of someone's happiest day is a time to express your own screwed up religious beliefs. I was always told, if you don't have something nice to say, shut the hell up.

Jul 30, 2011, 4:42pm Permalink
Chris March

i thought it was a mom and daughter. silly me. and everyone is so worried about religion, BECAUSE THEY GOT MARRIED. good for them- marriage is a social norm now more than a religious one. give up your old ideas for new ones. try opening your mind to a belief other than your own....as you may be wrong. (myself included)

BUT...this is news?

Jul 30, 2011, 7:34pm Permalink
Howard B. Owens

Every once in a while this phrase pops up in comments either here or on facebook: "this is news?"

My reaction hasn't been once: "Geez, what an idiot I am to report this. Of course it isn't news -- what the hell was I thinking?!!!"

No, my reaction is something quite different, but I can't really repeat it without breaking site rules.

Jul 30, 2011, 8:44pm Permalink
Doug Yeomans

Jerry, I was brought up going to church and from the earliest age I thought it was absurd. I didn't understand how anyone expected me to believe the ultimate fairy tale as fact. I can remember sitting in Sunday school asking myself if these people were insane. To this very day I just shake my head. It's just the way I am and I understand that everyone isn't just like me.

Charlie, I agree. I'm mystified how people can believe in something that simply has no rational evidence of proof. The biggest problems in the world right now are politics and religion and yet everyone is so uptight about 2 people in love and wanting to be married. I just do not get it.

Jul 30, 2011, 9:18pm Permalink
Dave Olsen

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

The only word I'd change is take out "men" and add in its place "human beings"

Jul 31, 2011, 10:40am Permalink
Howard B. Owens

How about "people"

We've discussed this before, I've always held that the Founders were men of exceptional foresight who both dealt with the reality of their times and had a vision for a more enlightened future (they were, after all, productos the Enlightenment). They crafted a vision for a nation that would one day (whether they saw it with great clarity or not is beside the point) in which all people, regardless of race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, etc. would have the same rights that the land-owning white men of their day enjoyed.

Let freedom ring.

Jul 31, 2011, 3:26pm Permalink

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