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Batavia mother accused of hurting baby

By Howard B. Owens

A 21-year-old Batavia mother is accused of hurting her baby after the infant would not stop crying.

Nikki Stonebraker, of 25 Vine St., is charged with assault 2nd and endangering the welfare of a child.

She was jailed on $10,000 bail.

Stonebraker allegedly placed her hand over the 6-month-old infant's mouth and pushed down after the baby's cries awoke her around 11 a.m. on Dec. 21.

Batavia Police say the baby is doing fine now and has been placed with the father.

Ritchie Kirkum Jr

This is terrible! It's sad how many people that would make great parents cannot conceive but then people like this girl gives birth to a beautiful baby then mistreats it. If you wanted un-interupted sleep, you and the father should have thought about that prior to your event. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, and a 1 year old son and I cannot even fathom doing any harm to them. Some people are just sickos and have no business being parents.

Jan 4, 2010, 7:18pm Permalink
Karen Miconi

This happened 2 houses away from us. My God, what a sick world we live in. Babies having Babies. I have seen her walking by before. I hope the baby is in good hands, warm, safe, and loved now. Awoke her at 11 am?? If your child is that much of a burden, and you feel like hurting her, take her to someone who can care for her.
This house has been a problem for years. Years ago an 82yr old man was busted for selling crack out of the back apt. He was waving a loaded handgun at a man on a bike, feet from middle school property. Anne Ripple(found face down murdered in a local creek) frequented this apt. Last summer another man was caught setting fire to the shed in the rear of the house. They had been having wild parties, and large illegal bonfires. He violated his parole and was sent back to prison.
People are moving in and out all the time. They never stay for more than a couple of months.
Its a shame that the kids can't even play safely in the back school yard, or their own yards.
Very unfortunate.....

Jan 4, 2010, 9:56pm Permalink
C. M. Barons

Yes, Karen: babies having babies. Typically, these immature young adults have no business parenting. They get caught up in the passion of adult relationships while not adult-enough to be responsible. Most are desperate to reconcile physical relationships with a hunger for love and self-importance that has been denied them. They mistake lust for love, kicks for happiness and extend their fantasy to the next delusional level, assuming that children will perfect their imperfect lives.

It would be merely pathetic if only the parents suffered the consequences of such irresponsibility. But the innocent offspring take the brunt; that's inexscusable. Beyond emotional pain and deprivation is the curse of extending the misery to yet another failed generation.

Jan 5, 2010, 12:40am Permalink
Peter O'Brien

She's 21, been a legal adult for 3 years. Thats no a baby having a baby.

The only thing that strikes me odd (besides the alleged act) is that as a mother she wasn't awake at 11 am. Welfare Worker?

Jan 5, 2010, 7:55am Permalink
Jane Johnson

This is a terrible shame. Karen makes a really good point about about this residence. Who owns this property that has been "a problem for years"? What is being done in Batavia to eliminate these kinds of problems? Landlords such as this one that do not take pride in the multiple rental properties owned in the city of Batavia.... Why would they living tucked away in the town of Batavia away from this?
Maybe the neighbors should call the landlord the next time there is crack being sold at this house or someone outside waving a handgun around or hurting a poor baby!!!!!

Jan 5, 2010, 8:51am Permalink
Peter O'Brien

And if I was the landlord, I would hang up on you. The landlord doesn't control the actions of residents. Heres an idea, if you don't like your neighbors, move. I met my neighbors long before I moved in. Seemed to me to be the smart thing to do. If it got to the point where I lived near a crack house and didn't feel safe, I would pack up and move out. You have the right to move, it may be a pain in the ass but you can infringe upon peoples "right to privacy" until you know a crime is committed. So until living in the city requires a background check, places like this house are going to exist.

Jan 5, 2010, 9:00am Permalink
Stephanie Armstrong

This story is so sad. My thoughts and prayers go out to the family of this child. Child abuse is never, ever acceptable.

However, we forget that three short years ago this young woman had been successfully raised and released by her parents. She had to have learned her parenting skills from someone. We are so quick in this society to place the blame on the perpetrator that we often forget that the perps are often victims themselves. Who taught Nikki that this was the appropriate way to treat her child? This is going on all over the country, and I hate to break it to middle aged America, but the parents of these 18-25 year olds are who is responsible. A child doesn't grow up into a child abuser unless they have been a witness or victim to abuse or they have some mental illness that supports that behavior. Someone taught this young lady that this type of behavior is acceptable. THAT is a tragedy. That is what encourages the cycle.

Not to mention, though she is 21 years old, her brain is still not fully functional and I would challenge that she is not a mature adult, since she still has several years until her brain is done developing. Only in this culture does an individual reach a certain chronological age when society decides they are mature enough, intelligent enough and prepared to enter the world alone and make appropriate decisions. Maybe we should be rethinking the way we parent, raise and release our children? It doesn't seem like many of them are ready, now does it?

I would also like to point out that if you are not in the renting market in Batavia, boy is it a mess. My family has not been able to stay in one place for more than a year because of the terrible landlords we have encountered. One refused to give us proper heating, so that in the winter we woke up to the ability to see our breaths throughout the house. Not only that, but my husband was also electrocuted by a live wire in the basement that could have killed him. The city was contacted about these things and nothing was ever done. Another landlord allowed obvious hazards such as holes in the ceilings where vents should be and boards crumbling in the porch.. no railings, no smoke detectors, no electrical outlet covers in a home with small children. Not only was the city contacted but the matter was also brought to court, where the landlord was found in the right. Thank God we finally found a landlord that cares about their property and the tenants in it, but if you think renters are the only ones taking advantage, you are sorely mistaken. Renters have limited opportunities for appropriate living conditions in this city and city enforcers and personnel do not support renters rights but the tax dollars that landlords provide to the city.

Jan 5, 2010, 9:30am Permalink
Karen Miconi

Peter, Ive lived here 16 years, and im not going anywhere. The tenants in this house, have come and gone, never staying in one place. How about their kids being moved around like gypsys. How about the piles of garbage left out front for a week before they are picked up, every time someone moves out. How about the sex offenders in and out of this house. We are powerless.
You dont have anything invested in where you live, or children to care for, and be responsible for. I guess you cant say anything then. The loaded pistal(that the officer emptied in front of us) was a scary site, and made all of us very concerned. The landlord has been collecting those Social Service, and criminal placement check for years. It is very easy for him to sit back, knowing who he is moving into our neighborhood, and not give a hoot what happens. Its all about collecting those checks. He doesn't have to chase anyone, as they just come in the mail. I think if it were a crack house it would have been condemned long ago. We, like others on Vine St. have raised our families here. It is very depressing to see how the neighborhood has deteriorated over the years. Right to privacy?? yes but not when your dealing crack and heroin, waving loaded guns at people(pointed directly at the middle school I might add) and suffocating babies. Just a few feet away from SCHOOL property, and other innocent children.

Jan 5, 2010, 9:44am Permalink
charlene shultz

I am a women who knows both parents ,I have been sick about this I pray the mother gets all rights taken and yes mother and father were not together ! dad is doing great, god bless you daddy ! I SEE YOU LOVING THAT BABY .BABY IS CLEAN ,FED AND LOVED . I AM a mother ,step parent ,grand parent of nine .business ownner ,I have offered dad any help if needed I can do .no ones at fault but her !there are alot of people in prison who have done less .so she better get more than a slap on the hand and LOSE ALL RIGHTS!! I have seen the baby a day after the article didnt make it out AS BAD AS IT REALLY WAS!! ALL I COULD DO WAS KISS HIM AND CRY .

Jan 5, 2010, 9:54am Permalink
Doug Yeomans

None of us knows the entire story yet. Like Chris Olin said, something about this is odd. How would anyone know she covered the baby's mouth unless they witnessed it? Quite a bit of this story is missing.

Peter, just because she's been legal for 3 years doesn't mean she's not a baby having a baby. Plenty of 21 year old people aren't any more mature than a 15 year old which pretty much makes them an unfit parent.

Stephanie, that's a great point about the human brain. In some instances it's not fully developed until a person is 25. This is all the more reason for young people to wise up and pay attention. Older people have been where you are so listen to them and life will be so much easier.

True enough there are young adults who ARE responsible parents, go to work every day and lead productive lives. I can assure you that they also have a support group called "their elders" who help them through decisions. That's the right way to pass along life lessons. Hard knocks teach valuable lessons but you shouldn't have to learn that way exclusively.

Jan 5, 2010, 9:56am Permalink
Stephanie Armstrong

Karen, are you calling the police when the drug deals are going on? Or the arson, or concealed weapons? What are the police doing about it? Have you and other concerned neighbors started a neighborhood watch program so that you are aware of what is going on around you and can better keep your family safe? And as far as sex offenders, I would be contacting someone since they are required by law to live a certain distance from schools. Garbage, I believe, is required by the city to be placed out only 24 hours before its due pick up time. I would be calling the city about that as well. Of course, if your experiences are anything like mine, they will write a citation and you will never hear from them again while the garbage rots in the yard.

The problem is that people who collect social services and are part of criminal placement have a right to housing, too. Unfortunately, it seems you have had some negative experiences with the people who have been placed there. And you are right, there really isn't much you can do about it, unless, like a close friend, you decide to buy the properties and rent them out yourself to better candidates. It seems like contacting the police when you see the law being violated and getting the rest of your neighborhood involved are really your only options if you don't plan on purchasing the properties or moving.

Jan 5, 2010, 9:58am Permalink
charlene shultz

some young parents are great parents yes babys having babies ,the devil is strong here and there are prisons full of all age animals that kill thir young . yes I AM SURE THERE MORE TO THIS STORY . BUT AGE STLL IS NOT AN EXCUSE !

Jan 5, 2010, 10:17am Permalink
Peter O'Brien

I own my home Karen, I have plenty invested.

I have animals I am responsible for and that I have to schedule around.

So basically you are complaining because he runs a business and you don't like the way he does it. Sounds to me like sour grapes. Being a landlord is business. You don't like that he gets paid more for housing previous offenders, then talk to your politicians because it makes fiscal sense for him to. If it didn't he wouldn't.

Waving a loaded gun is far from shooting it. Did he/she get in trouble for this? If so then what else do you want the landlord to do? He can't control their actions and is not responsible for them.

Whats the difference if there is school nearby or not? A crime is not more vicious because of the who the victim is. That is not equal protection under the law.

Jan 5, 2010, 10:34am Permalink
Stephanie Armstrong

Your right-age makes no difference when it comes to parenting. There are terrible parents out there who are 45 and there are parents at 20 who are great. Either way, there is no excuse to abuse your child.

Unrelated to this story, Doug, I just hope you are aware that there are many young people out there without positive adult role models. Unfortunately, it seems that number is growing. It is important for individuals to have support systems in place, whether those people are elders or not doesn't really make a difference, just so long as they are positive influences. I would encourage any adult who believes themselves a positive role model to volunteer at Big Buddy here in Batavia to be a mentor to a child who many not have many positive role models in their life. It truly makes a difference.

I was a mother at 21, and I can assure you my parenting is not perfect, but I would consider myself an excellent mother. At age 2 my son was developmentally at 36 months. He is well taken care of, intelligent, socially appropriate, uses manners, counts and is working on reading at 2 1/2 years old. I was also able to parent my son this way while attending college, making presidents list and graduating with a Bachelor's degree. A great spouse was also a wonderful addition to parenting. Parenting has absolutely nothing to do with your age, much more your maturity (which is not chronological), your dedication and commitment to your child and yes, your support systems. Really though, I can think of many parents who I find atrocious mothers and fathers who are 35+. Age plays a very minimal role.

Jan 5, 2010, 10:55am Permalink
C. M. Barons

The mother in question could be 50; she'd still be a baby having a baby. She even looks juvenile. Maturity is not measured in years.

Stephanie? What makes you think that her parents successfully raised her? Is her current behavior totally disconnected from her upbringing? Abuse and neglect won't ever be regarded as heirlooms. That doesn't stop them from being passed down generation to generation.

Jan 5, 2010, 10:57am Permalink
Karen Miconi

No Peter, it sounds like a mother protecting her young. Your dog can defend himself, children cant. Oh and yes there are stiff penalties for having firearms within a certain distance from schools. A pistal permit is required as well. A Batavia Police Officer was injured while aprehending the man( Albert Strong, the oldest man ever busted in Genesse County for drug sales, and posession of a firearm). I make no excuses for the way I am, and will continue to be a proud parent, no matter what you decide to say, or how you try to provoke people. What is the difference?? The school is full of children, thats the diff. A crime is more serious when it involves an innocent child. Complaining about?? Im not complaining, Im sharing my knowlege with people on the Batavian. Sour Grapes?/ Maybe you should check your own stomach. Barf or something.. Im not going to engage in conversation with you anymore. I learned my lesson long ago. Hopfully you will do the same.

Jan 5, 2010, 11:23am Permalink
Peter O'Brien

Angry a little?

When you start charging people differently based on who the victim of the crime is, you start elevating those people above others. I thought this was a country based on equality? Have we been perfect, no but we used to strive to be.

I have no sour grapes. I just think its ridiculous to blame the owner of the property for the failings of his tenants.

Jan 5, 2010, 11:22am Permalink
Stephanie Armstrong

Ms Barons, please reread my post. That was my point. I think its safe to assume she was not raised healthily. Abuse and neglect are typically passed from generation to generation until someone breaks the cycle. I would assume that this young woman was raised where she witnessed violence or was a victim of violence. Someone taught her that this behavior was appropriate. I am not excusing the behavior, I am suggesting, however, that we begin to ask more appropriate questions rather than pointing the finger and judging people. It seems people on this site are very quick to do just that. I was suggesting that this young woman is not a monster, but likely a victim herself and that her behavior was learned.

Jan 5, 2010, 11:25am Permalink
Karen Miconi

I never blamed the landlord either did I?? I cant find it Peter. The landlords are responcible for maintaining the property and addressing problems with tenants, especially those who are using his house for a drug house, and or abusing children(Breaking the law, you know illegal activity) and ground maintinance. If he is going to house these criminals, and collect a check(taxpayers dollars), than most certainly will he be held accountable. At least in my book.
Have a great day

Jan 5, 2010, 11:30am Permalink
C. M. Barons

One should consider:

Having babies is simple; even gerbils manage to accomplish that. Parenting is a skill; it's learned- modelling relationships in one's own developmental environment. "Mother" and "father" can be in their strictest sense titles predicated on child-bearing. In general, however, these words are icons representing cultural values above, beyond and despite a reproductive act.

One can never know more than the barest details about cases of domestic violence- only the official charges and the public faces of those involved. Still, a statistical reality emerges. The patterns of abuse and neglect coalesce into a portrait- typical, predictable and recognizable. One starts to point fingers only to realize that the emotional underpinnings are so deep, complex and personal; they defy black-and-white terms of blame. Be it easier to impose terms that might improve the lot of any involved. It doesn't work that way. It's all arbitration and compromise.

One can't cure emotional pain with an appearance ticket. Someone let this girl down a long time ago, and her whole life has been built on a skewed foundation. Her shaky-structure now has a second-floor.

Jan 5, 2010, 11:48am Permalink
C. M. Barons

However, we forget that three short years ago this young woman had been successfully raised and released by her parents. She had to have learned her parenting skills from someone. Posted by Stephanie Armstrong on January 5, 2010 - 9:30am

That's what I read. Sorry if I misunderstood it.

Jan 5, 2010, 11:52am Permalink
Peter O'Brien

" How about the piles of garbage left out front for a week before they are picked up, every time someone moves out. How about the sex offenders in and out of this house. We are powerless...It is very easy for him to sit back, knowing who he is moving into our neighborhood, and not give a hoot what happens. Its all about collecting those checks. He doesn't have to chase anyone, as they just come in the mail."

Sounds like you are blaming the landlord to me...

Jan 5, 2010, 2:34pm Permalink
C. M. Barons

Peter, there is plenty of blame to go around. As you seem to be suggesting- and rightly so; there is no evidence that this particular landlord is to blame for this particular incident. However, as Karen (who is close enough to be a credible witness) indicates, there is a history of poor behavior on the part of tenants at this property.

Landlords may not be responsible for the behavior of their tenants, but they are certainly liable if by ommission or commission they enable illegal behavior such as underage drinking, drug use/sales or open burning in violation of local ordinances. If the landlord has knowledge of illegal behavior and fails to intervene, he/she is guilty of abetting that behavior.

Further, it would not seem to be in the interest of the landlord to allow such behavior in his/her rental properties if for no other reason; such behavior suggests steep insurance and maintenance expenses for the property. ...Not to overlook turnover and occasions without occupancy- unprofitable. Such carelessness sets up a negative relationship with neighbors who have every right to complain and pursue legal action resulting in the landlord's permits and licenses being revoked.

Most landlords require references, security deposits and interviews to filter out poor tenants. Karen's assessment of this property indicates a landlord of the other ilk: one who invests little in the property, rents to anyone able to scrape up the rent and holds little concern for obnoxious behavior or the impact of same on those who must live with it on a daily basis.

Jan 6, 2010, 1:22am Permalink

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