Everytime I put gas in my tank, I want 50% back since I am stimulating the oil market.

When I buy groceries, I want 25% of my money returned to me since I am helping shopping cart attendants keep their jobs after the increase in minimum wage.

If I eat a hamburger instead of a hotdog, I would like a $5 rebate since hotdogs are heated twice before consumption.

I have a small garden, where is my farm subsidy?  I am not getting any income from it at all.

I need a new electrical riser for my house, will the federal government help pay for it to keep potential fire damage and the cost associated with it from affecting the local fire department?  Just think how much carbon dioxide is thrown into the air from a house fire and the trucks that respond to them.

If I choose to have an led campfire instead of actually burning wood, do I get some cash?

As a private citizen can I have carbon credits that I can sell to businesses when Cap and Trade is passed or does that only apply to other legal entities such as businesses?

This may all seem ridiculous but so is paying someone $4500 for going out, buying a $200 junker, that leaks oil but has been on the road and insured for the past year and gets 5 MPG, and replacing it with a car that cost $8000 from Korea.