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Good afternoon, prospective pet owners. My name is Maxine, a Labrador-retriever mix.

In the world of greeting cards and cartoon characters, there's also a Maxine. She's famous for being an old lady who wears funny clothes and hats and has a wry sense of humor.

I am not like this rather eccentric human, of course, but I am a funny adult female with a nice sense of humor. People say I'm friendly and playful, too.

Besides that, I'm already spayed. I'd love to have a real home and someone to rumpus with. 

I'm a real cool cat named Smoothie. You can sorta tell by my unflappable gaze and black goatee. Even though I'm female, I'm still a feline and this two-tone look, especially the goatee, makes me the bees' knees among my peers. (I got burned out on "cat's pajamas" and the decidedly overused "bad.")

It's an old, old country song. In this case, an adult female searching for love in all the wrong places, "hopin' for another heart lookin' for love." At this point, I'd settle for lasting friendship, some kibble and a box. Howza 'bout it?